life's short, but it's beautiful......but traffic still sucks
I wonder if you are anything like me - commuting through chaos every day, juggling the after-school schedule, checking work emails at stop lights - it can feel like life is speeding by.
Living in Chicago can sometimes feel like living in purgatory….Traffic purgatory. 😫
Traffic here, especially these days, is effing TERRIBLE.
You just sit there. Waiting. On, and on, and on.
Minutes and hours of your life wasted away in the exhaust fumes, the middle fingers, behind the 3 buses one after another stacked and slowing everything down.
I find it hilarious sometimes, to find myself caught up in this game everyone else is in. What game, you say?
Road rage. 😂
Oh my god is it infuriating when I have somewhere to be and I’m caught behind a slow driver. Just creeping along at 15 miles an hour.
“Come on, old man!!!! Let’s go!!” 😂
And yet, the very thing that everyone hates about living in Chicago, is the reason why many are here. There’s so much to do, to see, so much aliveness here.
There's action, and people, and places to discover.
So much opportunity for work, friendship, community.
How is it that we can hate the very thing we love?
I just found myself thinking about that as I drove today listening to Third Eye Blind’s Slow Motion. (Btw - that song is not for the kiddos. It’s pretty explicit with intense lyrics referencing drugs, and played to a haunting melody. A commentary on the exploitation of people’s pain.)
It’s interesting how a song written with the ugliest, most disturbing lyrics can still feel so layered, even offering depth and meaning, when paired with the right music.
Funny how we toggle between hate and love, disgust and beauty and still find meaning in it all.
And apparently, there's even a name for that feeling: it’s called emotional dissonance. When our brains hear conflicting cues like that - like dark lyrics set to beautiful music - the contrast actually draws us in deeper. We pay more attention.
Maybe that's why songs like that stick with us. The complexity of it feels so profound because it mirrors our life. It validates our own complex emotional experiences.
Joy and pain. Grief and beauty. Always existing side by side.
And it gives us the permission to hold it all at the same time.
I wonder if we miss the music that our own lives are making when we don't slow down enough to listen. To notice.
Because there’s so much complexity that we’re moving through every day.
The political landscape. The environment. The world stage alone.
It'a a lot to take in.
About two weeks ago my husband called me on a weekday morning while at work, asking if I can go with him for an impromptu visit to see his grandmother.
She’d been sick in the hospital, aged 93, and everyone was worried about her.
As we drove there, about 2 minutes from the hospital, he saw an old man lying on the ground - three people around him, calling an ambulance and tending to him.
We both worried about what could be happening - and not 10 minutes later, we witnessed the paramedics giving him CPR.
It was a sobering moment - here I was, appreciating the few moments with my hubby, middle of a workday, going to support family, while a man likely lay dying a few feet from us.
It was scary, but it made me feel a deep appreciation for my life.
It was a reminder to me just how fleeting and fragile it all is.
And music sometimes has a similar effect.
It helps me reflect, get present, it activates my heart.
One of my favorites is a song by Ludovico Einoudi called I Giorni. It means, “The Days”. And when I listen to it, I can’t help but feeling like I’m reliving key moments in my life.
Or like I’m on the outside looking in - watching myself move through the ups and downs, and it highlights how beautiful life is.
Is there something in your life that does that for you? When was the last time you caught your breath without rushing to the next thing?
Sometimes I think I write these (hopefully not meandering) newsletters just to remember - and to remind you - that being alive is a gift.
I think sometimes we forget. Between the school drop-offs, the dinner hustle, the inboxes...it's easy to miss the beauty tucked inside it all.
We let the argument with our parents, the abrasive honking from the stranger, or the bleak images on the news derail us from the fact that we get to do this.
We get to try, to fail, to learn, to grow.
I don’t think that appreciating our lives will make us apathetic to what’s happening out in the world.
It actually helps us tune in more deeply. The more present we are to what's good, the more energy we have to show up for what needs changing. We become more vocal, we volunteer, we take a stand, we act.
It's not either/or. It doesn’t need to be black or white. We don’t need to guilt trip ourselves for falling in love with our lives, even when it might feel like the world around us feels messy or uncertain.
Perspective helps. Taking a wider view can shift everything - helping us notice what matters, what connects, what we've maybe overlooked.
Where do you feel like your perspective might be limited right now? How might you expand it a little further?
For me, I like to use my car driving time to listen to my favorite music, to bond with my daughters - sometimes we play games - would you rather, for example.
Sometimes I listen to a podcast, or drive in total silence just listening and taking in the sounds around me.
I consider myself lucky when I slow down enough to savor the present moment.
To not rush.
To appreciate the fact that I am able bodied, riding in my car, to feel the wind at my face, the sounds of my family's banter, and to feel the breath in my lungs.
I hope you're taking the same time to savor your life - even in small ways. Sometimes that's all it takes to remember what matters.
With sunshine,
Mari ☀️
P.S. If savoring feels hard lately — if your days blur together in a nonstop loop of responsibilities and to-dos — maybe it’s time for a reset.
After a recent session with an incredible client, I felt so inspired that I turned what we did together into a new offering.
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Coaching with me to create momentum from the inside out
If you've been moving fast but feeling disconnected...this is your invitation to slow down, be seen, and activate your creative center.
When you make space for yourself, clarity always comes.
I'd love to work with you if you feel called to it. 🙏🏼
