Learning how to trust yourself in a deeper way
Have you ever visited a redwood forest? One with tall trees that seemingly reach into the sky; where ferns, and clovers and all sorts of grasses grow all around, hiding the skimpering creatures - curious and hungry, but elusive in a way that is frustrating?
Because all you want to do is witness the mysteries and secrets that hide in the shadows just out of reach, both achingly beautiful, but scary, all at once?
April felt a little like that - like I'm sitting in this forest, but just ahead I can see a sunlit beach. I can see the ocean waves, and the tropical sand, and yet I find myself hidden in the forest. On the precipice, the edge - the line separating these two worlds.
When I think about collective themes that we might all be dealing with - this is what comes up.
The bridge between two worlds - light and dark, shadow and sun - and our relationship to it all.
Oftentimes, we want to walk into bliss - into that beachy, beautiful scene that just looks perfect - sunny and bright.
We sit watching the scene, and we feel we are stuck in the shadowy places - it can feel frustrating, like an ache we wish we could remedy, but we can't for whatever reason.
But it might take facing the forest, traveling it, investigating the secret hidden places, becoming familiar with it to feel safe in this deep, dark place that feels immense and overwhelming.
And with more familiarity, the safer it feels to inhabit the dark recesses, the more secure we'll feel to walk into the sun - knowing the forest with all its shadows will be there waiting - a haven, a comfort, a place to explore and come back to - a place to rest once the heat of the sun and the exposure of it has run its course.
If you're an introvert - you know what I mean.
Don't be afraid to face your shadows, they help you when you need to face the world and all that entails. To know yourself more deeply, is to be in the world as a tall, rooted and strong tree.
Wise and knowing.
Grounded and steadfast always.
Themes you might be moving through:
Repetitive/Bouncing Energy - Imagine you're playing with one of those bright bouncy balls - the ones that they stack up at the store in those metal wire bins.
And you're passing the ball - bouncing it to another person, back and forth, back and forth.
You're strategizing how hard to throw it, or what spot to hit, so that it arrives safely in the hands of your partner.
That might be a bit what life was like last month - strategizing, wanting to hit your targets, playful even, wanting the repetitive tasks to feel like fun, to communicate with your partners - whether they are colleagues, friends, significant others, children - you want them to catch the ball, you want to have it land perfectly, and you want to enjoy the process as they throw it back to you.
Back and forth, repetitive, but playful - finding a rhythm but always catching the ball - not wanting to miss a beat.
Movement - you may have had a desire to move your body in ways you haven't in a long time.
That might look like walking, running, yoga, dance or some other movement that makes your body feel alive - that allows your blood to course through your veins - to feel that dopamine, those endorphins giving you the energy you need to keep going.
Now that Spring has arrived - go outside and let yourself feel the movement. Let your body lead you a little - not just the chaotic mind. Let it help you to sleep better at night.
Trust your body and what it's telling you it needs in order to thrive, to function, and to feel its aliveness.
Creativity - You may want to create in a way that feels a lot more tangible - because you want to feel pride in what you love, and you want to feel seen.
For me, that used to be playing the accordion and the guitar.
To play music, to create something that people can listen to and enjoy was such a source of pride and it validated me in ways that I don't think I realized.
To be seen, respected or admired for something that you create yourself is freeing, validating, exciting and something you can take pride in. Follow that thread.
Challenges or Obstacles that may show up:
Envy:
From a soul perspective, remember that we are all connected - all made from the same energy and essence, yet we are all experiencing different challenges.
Don't get tripped up by feeling envy for someone else's life, and what you perceive as their gifts or privileges that you don't get to enjoy - because everyone has their own obstacles, pain, and struggle.
You may be gifted in ways that they are lacking - so to be envious is a fool's game. Follow your own path, and remember that gratitude reminds us of the good.
Discipline:
Remember that you can accomplish what you set out to do. Give your endeavors the energy, focus and attention they need.
It's easy to get distracted in this world - so much to see, and do! We have SO MANY FREAKING OPTIONS NOW. It's like our choices have exploded and that can feel completely overwhelming. That whole analysis paralysis thing is real.
Remember that the inner leader in you has the ability to reevaluate your priorities, to create systems to help you manage your life, instead of being a passive recipient of what comes your way.
Satisfaction of a task completed is more rewarding than a task delayed.
Self-Esteem/Body Image:
Oftentimes, what we see in the mirror is a distorted image than what is the reality of who and what we really are.
Do you see yourself in an accurate way? What do you imagine others see when they look at you?
Don't let your thoughts trick you into thinking you are not good enough - sit with the shadows of your darkest thoughts as they pertain to yourself - and ease that child within.
Remember when you were just a 5 year old kid? What would you say to that version of you to help them feel confident, seen, and loved? Make that your mantra.
What I'm Learning Lately:
My younger daughter turned five last month, and we bought her a unicorn stuffy that lights up and plays a tune that I would imagine is what heaven sounds like when angels sing.
She was obsessed with it.
So much so, that the tattered white bunny she'd been carrying around and sleeping with since Christmas was forgotten in a corner.
One day I said to her, "Your poor Fluffy-"(that's the bunny's name) "-is so sad you're not playing with it anymore!" Obviously, I was trying to pull at her heart strings - because I felt amazed and almost woundedat how quickly she seemed to move on from her beloved.
And her response was, "Mom! It's just a stuffy!" Oh how the tides had turned! Ha!
But a few short days later, guess who slept alongside her and her new unicorn? That Fluffy bunny came right back! She continues to spend time with it, incorporating them both into her play routines.
When I watch her - I'm both amazed at the passing of time, but also at how much I learn from her.
She's my little comedian - I always tell everyone she came to this earth to have fun. She really came to live it up - to jump, to play, to explore, to revel in the excitement - whether it's because she's creating it for herself or not.
She came here to live all out - to laugh, to make others laugh - from deep in her belly.
To be silly, and fun, and light.
I'm so grateful for her energy - because it pulls me out of my sadder moments - when life starts to feel heavy.
She makes me remember that life doesn't always need to feel heavy with grief, or heaviness. She pulls me out of my depression, and reminds me to smile again.
Don't we all need someone or something like that in our lives?
What is that thing for you? What or who makes you smile? What pulls you out of the dark places?
In our world today - those things are more important than ever. Let's not forget them. Let's honor them, revel in them, and use them to keep going.
Use them to remind you to create, to play, to love, to be brave and do all the things you always hoped and wished to do.
They'll give you the courage, the energy, and the air of someone who just finally says to themselves, "F*ck it! I'm doing it! Who gives a f*ck?!"
Sometimes that's what we have to do - to not give a care in the world, to live all out, to swear a little. We'll always have our comforts, the things that bring us a sense of safety, but man - to live with the new...
To explore and let go a bit....
It's so freeing.
What Clients Say after working with me:
“Working with Marisol has fundamentallyshifted the way I see myself and opened me to a whole new realm of possibilities for my career, artistic practice, and self- care. Mari is a genius. She is inventive and energetic, patient and connected. My work with Mari has been deep, but the depths are always explored joyfully and with such great tenderness. Her offerings are a kaleidoscope, at once practical and mystical and utterly unique. I would recommend her services to anyone who feels stuck, unclear or dispassionate about how to show up in our ever changing world. In a time of so much darkness, Marisol is a light.”
— Maiya Corral, Playwright & Director
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P.S. Curious about my services? Here are three ways to engage with me. I would be honored to serve you in a way that feels supportive and aligned:
Designing Your 2026: A guided reflection + planning experience to help you choose the year you actually want to live, with intentional action steps for the months ahead.
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xoxo,
Be well always!
Marisol
